


They Withered All, When My Father Died

by Kiyoko18



Category: DCU (Comics), Nightwing (Comics), Teen Titans - All Media Types, The Flash - All Media Types
Genre: Abuse, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Barry is a good dad, Character Death, Dick is angry, Drowning, Fighting, Fluff and Angst, Geographical Isolation, High School AU, Homophobia, Hurt Wally West, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Inspired by The Outsiders, M/M, NO CAPES, Rudy dies, Rudy is a bastard, Rudy is a drunk, Snart is a nice guy, Teen Crush, Teen Romance, Wally West Whump, Wally is sad, teen drama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-01
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:28:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24496486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kiyoko18/pseuds/Kiyoko18
Summary: Wally shivered and wiped his eyes.He needed to stop thinking about that. He couldn’t go back and thinking about it only made him feel worse about not being able to see them anymore. Not after everything. Not after what he did.Wally started to zone out, no longer paying attention to the book at all, and reflected on the last couple of months and how his life managed to go to shit so fast.
Relationships: Dick Grayson/Wally West
Comments: 12
Kudos: 122





	They Withered All, When My Father Died

**Author's Note:**

> After four fucking months, I finished this monster. This was partially inspired by The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton. Enjoy :)

Wally groggily pulled himself out of his sleeping position, groaning as his body left the uncomfortable wooden floor. The straw, random sheets, and ratty blankets he used as bedding did absolutely nothing to protect his spine. His whole body ached, and Wally felt like he’d never slept at all.

He pulls himself up, ignoring his body’s protests. He looks through the broken windows of the barn, noting that the sun has barely crept into the sky. It must be early morning, probably 6 or 7 am. Wally couldn’t tell for sure anymore. It’s been a while since the last time he had a clock to tell time by.

Wally stood and stumbled to the back door of the barn. He went to the water pipe outback and scrubbed his face off and washed out his mouth.

The air was cold and blew through him like a ghost, invading the hollow feeling in his chest and freezing him from the inside out.

Once he’d cleaned himself off enough, he rushed back inside, and back to his ramshackle bed, wrapping one of the sheets around his thin body.

He picked up the book he’d read roughly two times now, cracking it open so he could kill time till it got warmer outside.

He ended up just staring blankly at the page as his mind wandered. The big, empty, cold barn was starting to get to him, and the silence was deafening.

One day, Wally swore this was going to drive him insane.

It was too quiet out here, not like back in Central, where the noise was pretty constant with people and cars; or in Uncle Barry and Aunt I’s house, where they were laughing and talking and the tv was on and Bart was scurrying around, messing with stuff; or the sound of his Dad breaking beer bottles against the wall; or Dick laughing after beating him in a video game…

Wally shivered and wiped his eyes.

He needed to stop thinking about that. He couldn’t go back and thinking about it only made him feel worse about not being able to see them anymore. Not after everything. Not after what he did.

Wally started to zone out, no longer paying attention to the book at all, and reflected on the last couple of months and how his life managed to go to shit so  _ fast _ .

* * *

**Two Months Earlier**

Wally scrambled down the street, backpack swinging around haphazardly as he tried to pull it on as he ran.

_ Shit, Shit, SHIT, he was going to be late _ .

Wally’s feet were pounding the pavements as he ran, but he was surprised to hear another pair-

“You oversleep too, West?”

Wally looked over his shoulder, seeing his dark-haired best friend scurrying up behind him. He grinned.

“The great Richard Grayson, late for school? Someone check for flying pigs.”

Dick cackled as he caught up and kept pace. “Hey, once in a while isn’t that bad. At least it’s not every day like  _ you _ . Ms. Nealson is going to kill you, dude!”

“Not if you charm her to get me out of it.”

“That charm has an expiration date, West. We better book it.”

The two boys run to the high school as fast as their feet can carry them, then bolt through the halls, trying to get to their first class. They burst into the room, annoying their teacher, who was in the middle of starting up the class.

Before she could dig into them too much, Dick shot her a flirtatious grin and smooth-talked both him and Wally into their respective seats, with not much more than a stern glare in Wally’s direction.

Wally mouths ‘Thank you’, clasping his hands together, and they quickly high five in their seats next to each other and whisper to each other throughout their whole class. Just being dumb kids, passing notes with little badly drawn comics of the teacher on them, talking about plans for later, and the game that happened a couple of nights ago.

It was simple, normal, happy. Just goofing off with his best friend instead of paying attention to a class that both of them knew like the back of their hand.

There’s nothing Wally would have given to have these days last forever.

* * *

Wally shook himself out of his stupor, having dozed off on his cot. He sat up, wrapping the blanket around himself, and decided to go up to the loft to wait out the rest of the morning. The loft was basically just the attic of the barn, where the hay was stored to keep it from getting wet and moldy. The wood that made up the floor was old and pretty feeble, but as long as Wally stepped in certain areas of it, he’d be fine. Besides, it had a window he could look out, one with a few of the whole countryside.

It was one of the few things that kept Wally from going completely mental out here.

Wally took his blanket and climbed up the rickety old latter, crossed the floor, and sat himself on the windowsill, one leg dangling out, and just watched the sun creep across the vast empty fields of the countryside. Wally pulls the blanket tighter around himself, the chill creeping into his thin-framed, teen body.

_ Dick would have loved a view like this _ .

Wally got a little misty-eyed as he watched the sunshine bounce off the morning dew, causing the flowered against the nearby tree line to bloom for the first time that day and warming the soft yellow-ish tall grass. A gentle breeze makes the fields ripple, blowing through the fields that stretched for miles and miles.

Miles and miles.

Away from home.

Away from everything and everyone he ever knew.

Wally shivered again and curled in tighter on himself.

“I hope Len comes to visit soon. Gets a little lonely out here.” Wally’s voice was hoarse from disuse, but what could he do. It was weird talking to himself.

* * *

It was the end of the day, and Dick and Wally were hanging out at a nearby burger joint with their friends. Wally was bickering with Roy, while Dick and Garth enabled them, and Kori and Donna tried to get them to knock it off.

Wally was mid-rebuttal when a voice interrupted. “Hey, Kid. Staying out of trouble I hope?”

Wally turned around to see Leonard Snart, the 5’10 pain in his uncle’s ass, himself.

“Hey, Snart! I’ve been staying out of it, as much as I can anyway.” Wally shot him a cheeky grin and held his hand up for a fist bump, which Snart seemed to reluctantly give.

The rest of Wally’s friends went silent while the two of them caught up. They did banter for a bit before Leonard took off, shooting the group of them a smirk and a wave to Wally.

Wally watched him go, smiling before turning back to his friends, all of them looking a little wary before slipping back into their previous conversations. Dick leaned over to Wally and whispered, “Doesn’t Barry get annoyed that you and Leonard talk? I thought he wanted you to stay away from him.”

Wally shrugged. “Yeah, but he can’t keep an eye on me forever. Plus, Len’s not that bad.”

Dick’s nose scrunched up. “He’s kinda an ass.”

“Well, so is Roy, but we keep him around.”

“HEY!”

Wally laughed as Roy lunged at him over the table, much to the dismay of their friends. Eventually, Garth and Donna had to pull them back into their seats, Donna giving them both a quick smack over the head for being idiots.

Wally laughed and sat back down, before noticing his watch and realizing how late it was.

“Shit.” Wally stood up and started shoving his things into his backpack, trying to pack up as quickly as possible.

“Huh, Walls, where are you going?”

“I’ve gotta get home. Dad needs me back soon.”

Dick moves to get up. “Want me to walk with you?”

Wally shook his head and slung his backpack over his shoulder. “No. I’m good. I’ll see all of you tomorrow.”

Wally bolts off, not giving the others an option to question or comment and hoping to get home before its too late.

After running through town, he managed to get to his apartment building as the sun was going down. The shadows crept in on him just as he reached the door and quietly pushed it open, peeking inside. The apartment was dark, save for the TV in the living room. Wally could see the silhouette of his father in his armchair, a beer bottle in hand. Wally took a deep breath and walked inside, trying to stay as quiet as possible.

Evidently, quiet as possible wasn’t quite quiet enough.

“Boy, is that you?” His father’s gruff voice emanated from the chair.

“…Yes, Sir.”

“Why are you so late?”

Wally hoped he hadn’t been drinking too much that night.

“I…I was just with my friends. We were having a little study group at a nearby burger place. That’s all.”

“And you didn’t think to tell me. Let me guess, you were with that ‘friend’ of yours. Drake or something like that.”

“…Dick, sir.”

Rudy grumbled and took a swig from the bottle before snapping at Wally. “Don’t talk back to me, boy. I’m your father and you will respect me.”

Wally forced down the eye roll, knowing that that was  _ not _ the thing to do right now.

“Sorry, Sir.”

Wally heard more indiscernible grumbling before hearing, “I don’t like that boy or any of your friends. They’re trouble, I know it.”

Wally bit his lip before he said something stupid, his knee-jerk reaction being to defend his friends, but past experiences telling him that wouldn’t get him anything but a bruised cheek.

Wally stayed silent until a beer bottle was thrown at him, smashing into the wall beside him. He flinched but otherwise didn’t move. He kept his eyes trained on his father, carefully watching his movements. The man’s eyes were bloodshot but hazy and his movements were lethargic.

“Go to your room. I don’t want to see your face for the rest of the night. You hear?”

Wally nodded and ducked into the hallway before anything else could occur. In his haste, he managed to notice the photo of him, his father, and his mom.

They were on a family vacation, standing in front of some monument. Wally must have been roughly 8 at the time, if his gap-toothed grin, boyish features, and the bandaged knee was anything to go by. His mom was holding him in her arms and his Dad was standing on his other side, arm wrapped around his mom. They were all smiling at the camera.

Wally vaguely remembered that trip. They’d had a great time. Wally’s mother had gotten him ice-cream when they walked down a pier. His dad had ruffled his hair when he said something funny, or particularly endearing.

Wally frowned and ran to the safety of his room, shutting the door as quietly as he could behind him.

That time was years ago, before Dad had to take a pay cut and started drinking, before he and mom started fighting a lot, and before mom finally couldn’t take anymore and left, both him and Dad, for good.

Wally dumped his bag on his bed, pulling out his homework and working on it quietly.

* * *

It was later in the afternoon when Wally pulled himself out of his daydreaming. The air was warmer now and Wally pulled off the blanket, deciding he didn’t need it anymore.

He climbed down from the loft, throwing the blanket into the pile of others that made up his bed and headed out the backdoor, wanting to take a walk to kill some more time. Not much else to do out here, other than to think and reflect.

He headed down the backside of the hill, towards the woods. While Wally couldn’t go out on the main road or the fields, for fear of being spotted or recognized, the woods were pretty secluded, with lots of quick places to hide if need be. Plus, he could often hear birds and animals making noises, and not too far away was a running river.

Wally liked the river, finding the sound of the rushing water to be soothing, and he’d often go down there to jump across the stones that broke through the surface of the water. Going from one side of the river to the other. It was a little shaky, especially when the water level was high, but Wally got the hang of it.

For now, Wally just went to the edge of the river and sat on it, taking off his shoes, and sticking his feet in, watching the stream flow around his ankles. The water was clear, and there was little fish swimming along with the current. Wally laid back and just listened. The wind rustling through the trees, the water rushing along its course, the birds chirping, and the sound of little critters running through the brush.

It was peaceful, Wally could feel his anxiety melting away a little bit, allowing him to ease into a doze.

* * *

“Hey, West!”

Wally was sitting on the grass in the field of his high school quad, working on his homework, when Dick came up, crashing into the spot next to him.

“Woah! Dude watch it! You’re gonna break something.”

Dick just laughed and sat up leaning into Wally.

“Ok, ok. Seriously, I’ve got something important to tell you after school. Think you could take a walk with me.”

“Sure man, anything you need. What’s up?”

“ _ After _ school. Seriously. I don’t want to talk about this here.”

“…Okay?”

Dick punched his arm. “It’s nothing bad, promise. I just want to let you know.”

Wally shrugged. They’d trusted each other with everything, so he supposed this wasn’t out of the normal.

They trusted each other with everything. Wally would have done  _ anything _ for Dick.

When you’re friends since practically diapers, that tends to do something to you and … Wally loved Dick more than he’d ever loved anyone.

He loved Dick much more than his father approved of.

At the end of the day, telling his father where he was a bigger mistake than just taking the possible beating for not doing so.

At this point, anything would have been worth avoiding the whole mess he got himself in.

Wally walked to the nearby park, his phone out, texting his dad.

_ You: I’ll be home later tonight. Dick needs to talk to me about something. I’ll just be at the nearby park. _

Wally waited with bated breath, praying that the old bastard didn’t call back or demand he come home right away.

To his confusion, Wally hadn’t received a reply at all during the whole 15-minute walk to the park.

_ Old man must be passed out again _ , Wally thought to himself. He supposed it was a relief. Hopefully, he’d still be out cold by the time the redhead got back home.

Wally headed to the isolated tree near the old toolshed, like Dick asked him to, and waited for his best friend to show up.

Thankfully, he didn’t have to wait long. After about five minutes, Wally saw him running across the field to meet up with him. He reached the base of the tree and bent over, putting his hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath.

Wally laughed at him. “You training to be an Olympic runner? I didn’t mind waiting, you know.”

Dick chuckled and shook his head. “Yeah, I know, but this is important, and I want to get through it as soon as possible.”

“O…kay?” Wally leaned against the tree, letting Dick talk.

The other boy stood up and took a deep breath, spitting out, “I’mbi.”

Wally blinked. “…What? Sorry, I didn’t catch that.”

Dick sighed and repeated, slower this time, “I’m bi. You know, bisexual. I play for both teams. I like boobs and co-”

Wally turned as red as his hair. “Okay, okay! I get the picture, no need to explain further.”

They stood there for a moment Dick looking at Wally apprehensively. “…So, you’re not… mad, are you?”

“What, no, why would you think that? I’ve never cared about who you decided to date Dick, that’s your deal. You’re always going to be my best bro.”

Dick sighed in relief. “Oh, thank god.”

Dick plopped on the ground and crossed his legs, leaning back to look up at the sky. Wally sat down next to him and did the same.

“Were you worried?”

“Yeah, a little bit. I know you’ve never been prejudiced against LGBT people on the street, but … I was a little worried that it might be different if it was someone you knew.”

Wally put a hand around Dick’s shoulder. “Hey, trust me. It’s cool. Love whoever the hell you want to.” Wally paused, thinking for a moment. “…Except Valerie from Lit, I call dibs.”

Dick laughed and elbowed Wally in the ribs. The redhead gave a fake cry of pain, flailing as he fell to the floor. “Medic! Help! I’ve been wounded. I think it’s fatal!”

Dick’s laughter got louder, his arms wrapping around his ribs, which hurt from laughing so hard. “You  _ dork _ .”

Wally sat up, grinning. “But I’m  _ your _ dork and you’re stuck with me.”

Dick’s giggle fits subsided quickly after that, but he still had a dusting of pink on his cheeks. “Yeah … Seriously, though. Do me a favor and don’t spread this around just yet, okay? You’re the only one I’ve told so far and I’m still trying to get a feel for how the others and my family will react.”

Wally got the warm and fuzzies when Dick told him that he was the only one that knew, for now at least. But, still, he nodded. “Yeah, don’t worry. I won’t tell anyone, I swear.”

He  _ swore _ . He swore he’d keep it a secret. He would never betray Dick’s trust like that. He cared about his … ex… best friend too much to hurt him that way.

Though he supposed that didn’t matter when you had a bastard like Rudy for a father.

* * *

Wally sighed, noticing that the sun was already starting to set. He needed to get back before it got too dark and he couldn’t find his way back to the barn.

He pulled himself out of the river, put his shoes on, and headed back, hoping that he could make it before the night chill started to set in.

In the meantime, he let his mind continue down his sick trip down memory lane, basically torturing himself at this point. But he couldn’t help it.

He could still remember, in  _ vivid _ detail. The look of utter betrayal on Dick’s face the day after the radio broadcast went viral around town.

* * *

Wally walked to school, actually on time for once. Upon walking on to school grounds, he noticed, immediately, that the student body was abuzz with something. Everyone was whispering and talking in large groups throughout the halls.

Wally did his best to ignore it. Small town, not a lot to do. Everything was a big deal, even things that weren't.

He just took his seat in his first period, waiting for Dick to show.

To his surprise, however, Dick never did.

At least, not for the first period, which they shared. Wally thought that was weird, but he mostly shrugged it off. Maybe Dick wasn’t feeling well and decided to stay home.

He tried texting his best friend during class, asking if he was feeling ok and what not. He never got a reply, which admittingly bothered him. Dick would oftentimes only give short responses when he was busy, but he never  _ ignored _ Wally’s messages.

He didn’t have too long to ponder though, because Dick came to school right at lunchtime, and the instant he made eye contact with Wally…

…He looked so hurt, betrayed, and angry all at once and Wally had no idea  _ why _ . He didn’t even have time to go over and ask what was wrong. Dick came storming over to him, grabbed him roughly by the front of his shirt, and shouted in his face, “WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?!”

Wally stared at him worried and confused. “What? Wait, what are you talking about?”

Dick looked at him, completely dumbfounded. He looked like he was looking for the right words to say. But all Wally could do was look into Dick’s eyes. He looked so… hurt.

“…I can’t believe you. You’re … You were my best friend. Why would you record me coming out to you and then…”

Wally heard a record screech. “Dick I didn’t record you! I would  _ never _ do that!”

"Then who the hell could! I only told you and the next thing I know it’s all over the radio! People are cursing me out in the street!”

Wally shook his head. “No, Dick I wouldn’t do that! I didn’t tell anyone anything! Let alone record anything! You are my best friend and I would never betray you like that.”

Dick’s fist balled up and Wally didn’t have enough time to process what was happening. The next thing he knew, he was on the floor and his cheek was throbbing.

He looked up at Dick, holding his, likely, bruised cheek, to see that the dark-haired teen was now being held back by Donna.

“Dick, calm down! Wally’s your friend, he wouldn’t do anything to hurt you!”

Garth got up to help her, but he gave Wally a wary look.

Wally could just sit there, frozen. Dick  _ hit _ him. His best friend hit him and had to be held back by Donna and Garth to keep him from doing it again.

Dick started going lax, signaling for Donna to let go. She did, hesitantly. Dick’s whole body hunched over, glaring at Wally out of the corner of his eye.

“…Do  _ not _ talk to me anymore. I don’t want to see you again. You hear me you son of a bitch. I never want to see your face. If I do, I’ll knock teeth out next time.”

Dick stormed off, Garth running after him immediately, trying to talk Dick down. Donna, however, hung back.

She helped Wally to his feet, looking at him, sad. “…Please don’t take what Dick said too personally, Wally. He’s just angry at the moment. I know you wouldn’t breach his trust like this. Just…lets get your cheek patched up and I go talk- ”

Wally shook his head. “No. I can take care of it.”

Wally ran off, aiming to find an empty stall in the nearest bathroom, and just… started bawling. He cradled his bruised cheek, body wracked with sobs.

“I-I didn’t tell anyone … I d-didn’t do anything wrong… I’d never … I’d never…”

* * *

Wally managed to get to the barn before the sun went down, both his limbs and his eyes feeling heavy. He shivered at the chill that was settling into the air. He hurried into the relative shelter of the barn. Granted the worn, wooden walls did nearly nothing to keep out the cold, but, hey, at least he had his ratty blankets and the straw bed to keep himself warm.

He quietly creeps into the barn, makes his way through the dark to his mound of hay, every creak and groan of the old barn making him jump a little. His mind imagining police flashlights peering between the gaps in the boards. The same phantoms that had been haunting him every night for the past two weeks when he first ran away, trying to hide from the blood on his hands.

* * *

Coming back to school after Dick essentially told him to fuck off and die in front of the whole school was … excruciating. People glared at him in the hallways and some even shoved him as they walked by. Donna, Kori, and his other friends tried to run interference and keep them away, but they were honestly busy doing the same for Dick and trying to get him to cool down and talk to Wally.

And speaking of Dick; He wouldn’t even look at Wally. He pointedly wouldn’t look at him when he walked by him in the hallways. And any of Wally’s attempts to reach out to him was met with this air of … hatred.

He put an end to reaching out after his last attempt earned him a  _ searing _ glare. Dick wanted nothing to do with him, that much was obvious.

So began his mundane routine. He’d get up, go to school, be ostracized by his peers, then he’d go home and, on his good days, be ignored by his dad, and on his bad ones, gets hit by him. A couple of weeks into this, Wally was a shell of his former self. He’d lost weight, either from his dad forgetting to feed him or him just not having an appetite and forgetting to eat. His skin went waxy and pale, making the bruises his dad gave him stand out more. Thankfully they were all under his clothes, so no one asked any questions.

Wally continued to slip down the dark, dank hole of hopelessness. The end of the year was just a few months away and then everyone was leaving for summer break. Leaving Wally home alone… with his father … in their crummy apartment while his friends were out having the times of their lives. Who knows, maybe Dick would find a new best friend and a boyfriend or girlfriend while he was at it. His life would move on… without him.

Wally had always imagined that he and Dick would be tight, all the way through high school and into college. They’d sneak out late at night, talk under the stars, laugh and joke like they always did. That’s what Wally thought would happen anyway, and he was happy with that.

Then Dick told him he was bisexual and for a brief glorious moment…

“ _ Excuse me, _ Mr. West.”

Wally was snapped from his depressive stupor looking up at an annoyed Ms. Nealson.

“…Do you think it’s appropriate to doze off in my class, Mr. West?”

“N-No, Ms. I was just- ”

“Just nothing, West. If your new attitude in my class is in any way a reflection of your grades…” She plopped his latest test down on his desk. A bright red ‘D+’ decorating the front of it. “I’d say that you’re in need of a little correction. Come to my class after school for detention.”

Wally couldn’t even give a protest or plea; she was already walking down the aisle again. Wally sits there, numb.  _ Great _ , now he has to explain to his dad why he’s going to be late. He tried to block out the snickers from his classmates by burying his face in his hands and praying that the world just faded away.

He dragged his feet through the rest of his day, but it seemed to pass much faster than he liked, he honestly couldn’t remember most of it.

Finally, he was let out of detention and could begin the long grueling walk home.

Or at least try to.

He could hear the light pounding of feet behind him, just as he exited school grounds. When he turned around, trying to see if someone was chasing him, he was surprised to see Dick running up. He instinctively stepped aside, trying to get out of his way. He figured that the boy was late to something and just had to go the same way, but surprisingly he stopped almost right in front of him. Wally froze, eyes fixed on the concrete and Dick’s shoes, which were no longer moving and instead indicated that he was facing the redhead.

Wally said nothing, anxiety building in his stomach, and he mentally started praying to whatever higher being up there that Dick would either say whatever the hell he needed to say or just move on because he really couldn’t take this right now.

“…Hey, Wally.” Dick’s voice was soft, if not just a bit awkward and it pulled at Wally’s heartstrings in an almost painful way.

“…Hey.”

“Uh… Ms. Nealson went kinda hard on you in the first period today. You okay, dude?”

Three weeks ago, a conversation like this would have seemed normal, even welcomed. It wouldn’t have been this awkward and they wouldn’t be standing so far apart. Hell, they might have even been walking home together.

But this wasn’t three weeks ago, and Wally was emotionally drained, sleep-deprived, practically starving, and in no position to have any sort of normal talk with Dick. Or whatever this was supposed to be.

“I’m … fine. I’m just … trying to head home.” Wally said, guarded and hesitant.

“Good. That’s … that’s good.”

Silence fell between them. Wally could feel a cold sweat breaking out on the back of his neck. He tries to shuffle away, hoping he could just start walking and this whole awkward conversation would fall into obscurity, or Wally would wake up and Dick would be back to hating him.

“Wait!” Wally freezes. He looks over at Dick, eyes wide and nervous.

Dick’s there biting his lip and his eyes were darting around, looking for … something.

“…What?”

“Uhhh, you … your Uncle called me. He said you haven’t been answering your phone. He was getting worried.”

Wally had been dodging phone calls from his Uncle, Aunt, and cousin, honestly just … not having the energy to talk to any of them. Or anyone else for that matter.

“Sorry, I’ve just been busy. I’ll give them a call. Thanks for passing along the message, I’ll just be heading –“

“Hold on, don’t … don’t go yet.”

“Why? Dick what are you doing-?”

“Are you okay?”

Wally stared confused, terrified and so … so hopeful. “Yeah. You just asked me that, and I told you I was fine.”

Dick frowns. “No, you’re not, dude. You’re as pale as a sheet, your face is sunken in, I can tell you haven’t been sleeping well-“

“Well, why do you care?” Wally didn’t mean for it to come out as bitter and angry as it did, but he was two seconds from running to the hills and he has no idea what Dick was doing. He only felt worse when Dick looked … hurt.

“…I … I just got … You aren’t looking too good, Wally. And you haven’t been talking to any of the others. Do- Do you need help, I can call-“

“I’ll be fine. I don’t need any help. I just want to go home.”

“Wally, please talk to me, I get that I’ve been avoiding you for weeks, but you aren’t looking so good and I’m starting to get worri-“

“I thought you said you never wanted to see me again.”

“…Wally, I know what I said but I-“

“You said you’d knock my teeth out if you did.”

“I know, but I didn’t mean it, Wally please-“

“Listen, I don’t know what’s going on with you, but if you’re mad at me just … stay mad and don’t play this weird mind game with me, okay? I can’t deal with this right now.” Wally didn’t even wait for Dick to respond before he turned around and ran off.

“Wally, Wally wait!  _ Come back-! _ ”

Wally ran down the block, spurred on by the sound of feet pursuing him.  _ Why was Dick following him? _ He could feel his chest seizing up and he booked it down the street, trying to outrun him, tears streaming down his face.

He ended up having to run through the tail end of a crossing light, nearly getting hit by a car in the process, but he lost Dick, the other boy calling for him from the other side of the street. From there, he ran straight home. He didn’t care if his asshole father was there and waiting for him and probably pissed off. There was nothing he could do that hurt him more than Dick faking concern after three weeks of radio silence.

He finally made it back to their apartment building, running up the stairs and throwing open the door. He ignored his father’s angry ranting and went straight to his room, locking the door behind him. He curled up on his bed, crying quietly. He couldn’t take the emotional roller coaster, it was too much and it hurt so bad.

He wasn’t sure how long he had been there, but it was dark when he sat up, wiping the grime from his eyes. Hunger was gnawing at his stomach and he got up to get something for himself to eat. He had hoped that his dad would be passed out by now, but no such luck. He was still drinking and watching the TV. He tried to sneak past him, only to hear his gruff voice.

“Finally stopped whining, you little bitch.”

Oh, he was extra out of it tonight. Wally didn’t reply, staring at the floor. He just wanted to get some food and go back to bed.

“You gonna answer me boy or are you just gonna stand there hugging the wall?”

Wally, again, said nothing, knowing if he said anything it would make him upset.

Rudy grumbled and settled back into his chair, Wally thought he was in the clear, till Rudy started talking again.

“You need to stop pining over your faggot friend, you fucking fairy. Don’t think I haven’t noticed. Grow a pair and man up.”

Wally froze, feeling himself getting angry. For how much Dick’s hatred gutted him, you don’t insult him like that. “Leave him alone. He’s got enough shit to deal with without you cussing him out like a drunk.”

“Watch your fucking mouth boy! I’ll talk about him however I fucking want to. Especially after He tried to confess to you in the fucking park that day. No rich boy’s gonna turn my son into a fairy.”

Wally could feel his anger start to boil over when it suddenly cooled. “How did you know about that?”

“Cause I fucking followed you, and it’s a good thing I did. I caught that boy telling you he’s a faggot on tape and sent it to the radio station. If he feels like he can tell  _ my _ son, then the whole town should know how disgusting he is.”

Wally was shaking, trembling with rage. Everything, every single thing that Dick accused him of was his fathers’ fault. His father outed him to the town, and he seemed proud, even downright smug for what he did.

“That…That was you. You told them. Why? Why the fuck would you follow me and out my best friend!?”

“It was obvious  _ he _ was going to come out as a faggot, he was barely trying to hide it. I just wanted to be there when he did. I was just surprised that he came out to my son. Who the fuck does he think he-?”

“ _ SHUT UP! _ ” Wally shouted, his anger boiling over. “SHUT UP, SHUT UP YOU LAZY DRUNK BASTARD!”

Rudy looked at Wally, inebriated and flabbergasted, but then got increasingly angry. “ _ Don’t you talk to me like that boy _ .”

“I will talk to you however I  _ fucking _ want to!”

Wally was suddenly falling to the ground, clutching his cheek. Rudy had hit him, but it did not make Wally back down like in normally did. His anger had him too far gone.

“No, listen to me boy, you do not talk to your father-!”

Wally jumped back up getting in his face. “A father who is desperate to make me as lonely and miserable as he is!”

The furious red-head pushed past his inebriated father and ran back to his room, snatching up his backpack and rushing back out, heading towards the front door.

“Where the fuck do you think you’re going, boy?!”

“Anywhere but here!” Maybe he could hide out with Uncle Barry and Aunt Iris for a while till he could get this sorted out. But he needed to leave, he couldn’t spend another god-awful minute in this godforsaken apartment. 

Wally had barely gotten out the door and was on the balcony, heading for the stairs, when his drunk excuse for a father caught up. Rudy clamped his hand down on Wally’s shoulder and forced him to turn around.

“Wally, you will not set one foot out of this house without my say so, you hear me! And if you  _ ever- _ !”

“Why? Mom did it easily enough?” Wally said it, he finally said it, stone-cold and unempathetic. Wally didn’t care. His mother left years ago, and Wally had long since moved past it. He just wanted to say it to hurt his father even a fraction of how he hurt him.

Rudy gawked at Wally, for a fraction of a second, before the rage Wally fully expected to arise did so. Rudy bellowed and charged Wally. Wally grits his teeth as he and his father grappled on the terrace, Wally fighting to not fall over the edge.

Finally, with one last attempt to protect himself, Wally gave an honest to god shove in self-defense.

That proved to be both his and Rudy’s undoing. They both tumbled down the stairs. Wally, instinctively, curled up into a ball and covered his head to protect himself. He landed at the foot of the stairs, bruised and scraped up, but overall, no worse for wear.

Wally uncurled, moving slowly, as to not aggravate his banged-up and exhausted form. The fall seemingly took most of the anger out of him.

Then he looked over at Rudy, looking to see how his father fared.

…Rudy, evidently, was not as lucky.

Wally gaped in horror, seeing his father's neck twisted at an odd angle, his eyes glazed over. The rest of the man’s body was limp…lifeless.

It took Wally no longer than a minute to realize that Rudy was dead.

He felt like he was going to be sick.

He couldn’t move, couldn’t scream, couldn’t  _ breathe _ . He was numb and frozen.

His mind, however, was going a million miles an hour. Replaying the entire scuffle over and over again. Only for it to come to the same conclusion, Rudy died in the fall, his neck snapped, and he was dead. He was dead. Rudy was dead. His father was dead.

Wally could feel himself starting to hyperventilate, the world around him was blurring. Then lights in the other apartments were turning on, Wally could hear voices over the ringing in his ears.

Then he saw the situation he was in looked with perfect clarity. He was lying on the ground, next to the dead body of his father.

When Wally started to hear the sound of doors unlocking and people trying to come out and see what the commotion was he had a sudden burst of panic. Wally was on his feet and running down the street, away from the people clamoring around and, eventually, the screams.

Wally didn’t turn around and didn’t look back, running aimlessly. His mind was reeling. What does he do now? What can he do now? The police will be looking for him. Oh, God, he could get arrested. He could be put in jail for murder, or was it manslaughter, Wally wasn’t sure. But either though was enough to have him retching into a nearby bush. Wally collapsed on the concrete after, his legs no longer able to support him.

His panic crazed mind scrambled for what to do. Did he go to the police and turn himself in? Did he go on the run? Did he call Uncle Barry for help? Did he go to someone for help-?

Suddenly a light came on. It was a snowstorm in hell's chance that it would work, but it was something.

Wally jumped up, running as fast as his exhausted legs could carry him to the west side of town and the home of one Leonard Snart.

* * *

Wally ended up getting some sleep that night. It wasn’t particularly restful, but it was enough. Better than nothing though.

He supposed that he was in a better mood because Leonard was coming to check up on him today. Or was it supposed to be tomorrow? Wally had more or less lost track of time.

He had to admit, Wally was grateful for Leonard’s help. Very few people would help out a kid who just turned up on his doorstep saying he killed his dad. Wally still vaguely remembered that night. He remembered Leonard pulling him in, putting a warm oversized shirt on him, giving him a wad of bills, telling him to hop on the next train to the middle of nowhere before tomorrow morning and to lay low.

Wally was surprised Leonard was helping as much as he was, he got this weird look in his eye when he saw the bruise on Wally’s cheek, but Wally was too sleep-deprived and scared to care or ignore him. He hopped on a cargo train heading out west and had been hiding out here for weeks.

Wally hadn’t had contact with Leonard, or anyone else, since then. Len was going to stay in town for a few weeks and see what the news was like. Then he’d travel out to see how Wally was doing and update him about what’s going on.

Seeing the sun creeping up and peering through the gaps in the wood, Wally decided to get up and climb onto the loft again, sitting on the windowsill and watched the sun creep across the stretch of fields, hoping to get a glimpse of Leonard’s car coming over the hills.

It was an hour later when Wally started to hear the sound of a car engine and the sounds of tires rolling over dirt. Wally gave a weary smile and sat up stretching so he could try and see if he could see him coming.

His smile fell into a look of horror when he saw several police cruisers come over the hill. He was frozen, for half a second, before he jumped up and scrambled down from the loft, falling from halfway down the ladder, and bolting out the backdoor, ignoring the yells of his name and the calls for him to stop. He bolted into the forest, his vision tunneling, heading towards the river. Maybe if he crossed it, he could lose them on the other side.

When he finally made it to the river, he made a beeline for the rocks that function as the bridge and immediately started crossing, scrambling over the rocks and trying not to slip and fall into the churning water. He got halfway across when he was his with a bone-chilling realization. The water level had risen and had submerged some of the rocks.

Including one that was vital for crossing the river. In its place was a long gap that Wally wasn’t sure he could jump.

The red-heads haggard breathing made it so hard to think. He looked frantically between the gap, the sloshing, turbulent water, and the voices of the cops steadily getting louder behind him. He needed to do  _ something _ .

Wally looked at the gap, eyes crazed. He had to jump, he had to try. He could make it, he just had to-.

“WALLY!”

…No, it couldn’t be…

Wally turned around and saw Dick standing there, on the bank of the river the boy had just come from, panting, shoulders heaving and eyes, sweet, soft, desperate blue eyes, trained on him.

“…Dick?” Wally croaked; his voice still hoarse.

“Wally,  _ don’t jump _ . You can’t make it, you’ll fall!”

Wally was frozen, he was almost certain he had finally cracked, and he was hallucinating. There was no way Dick was here. Dick was done with him. He hated him. He … He…

“…Why…What are you doing here, Dick?”

“What am I –! I came here looking for you, you idiot!”

“But why?!”

“Because I was worried sick!! First, you ran away from me when I tried to talk to you, then the next thing I know Rudy is dead and no one can find you anywhere! I thought … I thought…” Dick’s voice cracked and trailed off.

Wally felt a twinge of guilt, he didn’t mean to hurt Dick, or anyone else. But with everything going on,… he just didn’t think…

“…I’m sorry, Dick. I didn’t mean to just run off. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen, but now isn’t a good time, I have to…”

“Wally, you can’t make that jump!”

“I have to try!”

“No, you don’t! Just come back with me-.”

“And get arrested for murder?!”

“No! Wally, listen to me, I’ll explain everything in a second, just …just come back with me.”

“…Why should I?” Wally inches closer to the gap, getting ready to leap.

Dick glanced around, biting his lips. “Because … Because …”

Dick looked up at gazed into Wally’s eyes, silently begging. “…because you’re my best friend. I know I’ve done a shitty job of showing it and I can’t blame you if you hate me or can’t trust me, but Wally, please, believe me, it’ll be okay. Barry and Iris are out there, so is Bart. Everyone else is back home worried sick about you.” Dick opened up his arms as if trying to simultaneously reach for Wally and pull him into a hug. Tears were dripping down his cheeks. “Wally … please… come home.”

Wally could only stare at him, and he suddenly felt so tired. Tired from running, from the sleepless nights, from the worrying and fear. Maybe it was because he didn’t have a plan for what he’d do if he managed to cross the river, maybe it was that he was emotionally drained and he just wanted this to be over, maybe it was he just missed Barry’s hugs, Iris’ home-cooked meals, and Bart’s high energy. But whatever it was, it made Dick’s arms look so welcoming, reminding him of their nights where Dick and he would cuddle up for a movie.

Wally’s shoulders slump a little and he sighs. The nervous jitters clearing out and feeling like a weight was lifted off his shoulders. “…okay…okay, I’m coming.”

Dick's face broke into a watery smile and he started climbing out onto the rocks to meet him halfway. “Thank you … It’s going to be okay, Wally. I promise. We’re going to figure this out, I swear. You’ll go home with Barry and Iris and all this will seem like a bad dream.”

That sounded so good to Wally right now. A small smile crawled onto his face. He was so tired, and he just wanted to go and fall asleep.

However, his fatigue proved to be his undoing. He didn’t even realize his fatal error till he’d already gone off balance and was falling into the water. The last thing he saw was Dick’s horrified face and the screaming of his name.

Then he was blinded by the churning waves and frothing white water. The current pushed him down, flipped him over, spun him around under the surface of the river. The water was cold, absolutely bone-chilling, and Wally could barely feel his limbs from how numb they were already. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t swim up for air. He didn’t even know which way was up.

Was this it? This is how he dies? Was fate that cruel? Wally’s lungs felt like they were going to burst. His head was spinning and foggy. The lights were going out. If Wally could, he’d swear he was crying. He wanted to at least say goodbye to Bart and Barry and Iris. He wishes he could have seen his friends one last time. He wished he had told his Dad to fuck off earlier and to yell at him some more about how a shitty and terrible father he was, even if it got him more bruises and broken bones. He wished he got the chance to hang out with Dick. Makeup with him. Not that weird and awkward begging and emotionally drained relinquishing of anger. He wanted to hug Dick. He wanted to laugh with him. He wanted to tell him everything, and now he wouldn’t be able to.

After being crushed by the weight of his regret and the water, everything went black.

Wally was limp, he couldn’t feel anything, not even his own body, over the mind-numbing cold. He felt weightless. He couldn’t tell if it was because of the water or because he was dead. Was he dead? He felt dead. He couldn’t think of anything else that could describe this feeling of cold, floaty, weightless darkness.

Then there was something wrapping around him. He wasn’t sure what they were, but they were strong and pulling him up. It was about this time Wally realized the things were warm too. Was it an angel? It’s pulling him up and something getting lighter behind his closed eyelids. Wally gets some of the feeling back in his body and he notices that he’s jostled around for a bit before he was laid down on something soft. He didn’t open his eyes. His limbs felt like cold pieces of lead and he was so …so tired. Maybe the angel would let him sleep for a bit. He felt like he needed it.

The angel seemed to be talking to him though, so that wasn’t happening. Wally tried to listen, he really did, but he couldn’t make it out. He felt bad. It sounded really important. The angel sounded upset and something was dripping on his face.

Then there was something warm on his lips. Warmth spread to his chest. Then someone pressed down. Then he was coughing. He was coughing a lot, it hurt and he didn’t like it, but he couldn’t stop, cause stuff was coming out of his mouth. He was rolled onto his side and he threw up. His stomach hurt after that. Finally, he heard crying, very distinct crying. Didn’t he know that voice? It sounded familiar, but his head hurt and he couldn’t piece it together.

After that, it was a blur. There was more crying, then some yelling, then more voices, but by that point, Wally had completely faded to black.

* * *

Wally felt awful, just straight-up awful, when he came to. His body felt like lead, and he as a whole felt like death.

He had to pry his eyes open, but he managed and looked around. He was in the hospital, in a hospital bed, dressed in scrubs and with an IV in his arm. This was a little disconcerting, but then he saw Barry, Iris, and Bart there, the latter two asleep on each other in a couple of chairs in the corner and Barry sitting at his bedside, his head in his hands.

“…Barry…?” Wally croaked, his throat burned and it felt like he’d been gargling nails.

Barry was up like a shot. He’s wrapping Wally in a hug, minding his IV, and crying. “Wally! Oh thank god you’re awake!”

Wally did his best to hug him back, but that amounted to limply putting an arm around Barry’s back. Wally felt tears dripping down his face, and his throat hurt from the crying, but he couldn’t stop. He was hugging his Uncle, he wasn’t dead, and while he wasn’t sure what his future held, he got to at least had this and the family he had left was there for him.

Wally buried his face in Barry’s shoulder, sobbing. “I’m s-sorry B-B-Barry. I’m sorry I ran o-off. I-I’m s-sorry I made you w-worried. I’m s-s-sorry-!”

Barry shushed him, pulling him out of his shoulder and wiping away the boy’s tears. “Wally, breathe. It’s okay, son, we’re not mad. Just breathe with me.  _ Breathe _ .”

Barry walked him through some deep breaths and then laid him back onto the bed, still holding his hand tightly. “Are you feeling okay? Are you in any pain? The doctors said that they think you didn’t hit your head, but they couldn’t be 100% sure.”

Wally groaned when his head was mentioned. It was spinning like a top, and he felt sick. “I…I think I’m fine, but… god, I feel awful. Like all over.”

Barry gave a strained, exhausted, bitter chuckle. “That’s what comes with nearly drowning kiddo.”

Drowning? When had he…oh. “So…I’m not dead?”

“No, thank god.” Barry reached over and brushes the red locks out of his eyes, the older man's eyes twinkling with relief and pure joy. “When the cops were called and we found out Rudy was dead, that was bad enough. But then we couldn’t find you anywhere, we assumed the worst. Then we saw the state of the apartment and…” Barry’s jaw clenched a little, but he tried to keep his face neutral. “…Wally was there something going on with Rudy that you want to tell me?”

Wally bites his lip and avoids his uncle's gaze, which said enough.

“…I’m sorry, Barry. I made a huge mess.”

“Don’t apologize. Running off like that was dumb but … I honestly can’t blame you. No one would have known how to handle a situation like that, let alone a high schooler.”

Wally gives Barry a weak smile. He opens his mouth so say something, but then there’s a knock at the door, followed by it opening and two police officers and a detective stepping in. “Mr. Allen, would you mind if we- oh! He’s awake?”

Wally visibly tensed up at seeing the officers, adrenaline rushing into his system and his mind racing. The heart monitor wailed in response to Wally’s distress. Barry jumped up to put a steadying hand on his shoulder, in an attempt to calm him.

The detective immediately started, “Whoa,  _ Whoa _ , there son, take a minute to breathe. Now my name is Detective Gordon. You’re Wallace Rudolph West, right?”

Wally looked over at Barry, who gave him a nod. He swallowed. “Y…Yes”

Detective Gordon smiled and took a seat. “Rudolph West is your father, right?”

“…Yes.”

“Did your father drink a lot, Wally?”

Wally looked nervously over at Barry before answering. “…yes.” He saw a look of guilt and shame pass over Barry’s face.

“How long has your father been drinking?”

“Ever since my mom left…a little before too, but it got worse after.”

One of the cops was writing everything down while Detective Gordon continued. “Alright, Wally - Can I call you Wally? Can you tell me what happened that night with your father? We got some witness testimony and some security footage about what happened, but we want to hear it from you first.”

Wally gulped, Barry squeezes his hand, encouraging him to continue. “…We got into a fight. He had gone behind my back and outed my friend. I got angry. I tried to leave, but he wouldn’t let me. We got into a fight, we were shoving each other at the stairs, and … he .. he fell…”

Wally felt sick again, Rudy’s twisted neck flashing through his mind.

Barry must have noticed because his hand was on Wally’s shoulder again.

The detective only nodded and looked at what the officer had written down. “Alright, I won’t ask you any more questions, Wally. Try to get some rest, you had a nasty fall.”

Wally wasn’t sure what possessed him to open his mouth, but he did. “…aren't you going to arrest me?”

Detective Gordon looks over at him. “Arrest? What happened was ruled an accident son. Security footage and witnesses both saw your father attack you and you  _ both _ fall down the stairs.”

“Not to mention if the fall didn’t kill him, his liver would have.” Threw in one of the officers, earning him a swift elbow to the ribs.

The detective gives the officer a disapproving frown before turning back to Wally. “ _ Either way, _ the only thing I’d say you are in trouble for is your reckless disregard for your safety by running off like that, with the aid of Leonard Snart. I understand you were afraid, but going to someone like Snart and taking off to the middle of nowhere, alone, was very stupid. You could have gotten seriously hurt and you worried your family to death.”

Barry put his hand up. “I’m sure my nephew understands, Detective. Now, if he could be left alone to rest before we take him home?”

Detective Gordon looked between the two of them, then sighed. “Of course, Mr. Allen. Have a good rest of your day. You too, Mr. West. We’re relieved you’re all right.”

Then the police officers filed out of the room, closing the doors behind them.

Wally groaned, sinking into the hospital bed. “…I was an idiot, right?”

“Now enough of that. You’re alright, and as soon as the doctors say you’re in the clear, we’ll take you home and get all of this sorted.”

Wally nodded, looking down at Barry’s hand holding his.

Then something came to his mind. “…Barry?”

“Yes, son?”

“…I fell into the river. How did I get out?”

“Dick jumped in after you and managed to pull you to shore. You were coughing up water by the time we found you.”

Wally stared at Barry, completely dumbstruck.

“Is…is he-?”

“Dick left a while ago, I’m afraid. Bruce came to get him when he got the call from the hospital. Both of you were suffering from minor temperature shock. To his credit, Dick tried to fight him so he could stay with you, but Bruce wasn’t hearing it and took him home.”

Wally stared and his lap, his blood rushing in his ears.

Dick had…saved him…

* * *

It was…a weird couple weeks coming back home. Welcoming, wonderful, and dearly missed, but still weird. Wally was honestly in a little bit of a fog, which got Barry worried, though a lot of things got Barry worried lately. He’d already put Wally into therapy, which Wally admitted helped a bit.

The weirdest part was his friends. Obviously, they were so relieved he was okay and back, but getting back into his school schedule was hard. People stared at him. People whispered when he wasn’t looking. It was unnerving. He was honestly out of it a little and mostly retreated to his friend group, not wanting to be around anyone who was wondering “If it was true?”

…needless to say, Wally preferred his friends who were worried about him but didn’t ask any questions. Even if with that came another problem.

He and Dick were awkward around each other.

Dick was nicer to him, for sure, but they couldn’t talk. Wally didn’t know what to say after everything that’d happened, and he could tell Dick didn’t know where to begin either.

So it was about a week of them hanging around each other, till one night. Wally had just gotten home, taken his shower, and was about to climb into bed for the night when he had found Dick in his room waiting for him.

He stood there, flabbergasted, in his sweatpants, only his sweatpants, and was still drying off his hair with a towel, having just gotten out of the shower.

Dick sees him come in and his cheeks turn red. “Ah! Uh- I-I’m sorry, I didn’t know- ah, fuck!” He looks away, covering his flushed cheeks.

Dick sneaking into his room was not out of the norm. He’d do it all the time when Wally could stay over at Barry’s house. But this wasn’t like back then. They weren’t the same rowdy goofballs, they hand barely spoken, properly, in about two months.

…but he was here, and that brought at least a little bit of hope that they could fix things. Wally looks down, his own face red, and quickly closes the door. “It’s okay. Don’t worry about it. What’s up?” He starts to look around for a shirt so they could stop feeling awkward, at least a little.

Dick doesn’t talk at first, rubbing the back of his neck.

“…I just wanted to come and check up on you. We haven’t, you know, talked in a while.”

“Yeah…I know. I’m sorry I haven’t been myself lately.”

“Don’t apologize, dude, you don’t have anything to be sorry for. Hell, I’m the one who’s been being a huge…well, dick.”

That got a small laugh out of him, damn their stupid sense of humor, as he picked up a tank top from the floor and fiddled with the bundle of fabric nervously. “It’s fine, don’t worry about it. I was the only one you told. We had no idea how it could have gotten out and you were upset from being outed to the whole down. It’s fine.”

“No, it’s not!”

Wally jumped at the sudden shout and Dick wilted again. “Sorry, sorry. I didn’t mean to yell, but I swear if I made you apologize for anything that had to do with the last month, I was going to lose my mind.”

“…Dick, it’s really not a big-.”

“Yes, it is, Wally. Please let me finish.”

Wally fell silent as Dick look a deep breath. “Wally…I’m sorry. I’m sorry for going off on you the way I did. I’m so sorry for hitting you. I’m sorry for ignoring you for weeks after, especially when I noticed how bad off you were. I … I’ve been a shitty friend and an even worse best friend. I’m sorry, I let you down and…and…you almost died.” Dick’s voice breaks at that last word.

Wally was suddenly filled with the urge to hug his friend. He dropped the shirt on his bed and stepped forward. “Dick…”

“I’m not done.” Wally stops, waiting to let him finish.

Dick takes another deep breath. “…Wally, when you ran off when I tried to talk to you, you looked scared and arguably the worst I’ve ever seen you. I knew right then and there that not talking to you earlier, that not cooling down and trying to give you a chance to defend yourself, was the biggest mistake I’ve ever made, and I’m so sorry. Cause then…then Bart came to us asking if we’d seen you and … he told us that Rudy had been found dead that morning. He told us … he told us you were missing.” He swallowed. “…I was scared shitless that you were going to turn up dead too, and the last time I’d see my best friend was him running away from me.”

Dick dragged his hands down his face. “…I was a wreck those three weeks you were gone. I couldn’t eat, I could barely sleep. I was certain I was going to wake up and be told that they found you dead in a ditch somewhere. I swore to god I was going to drive myself insane. Then…then they got to Snart and convinced him to tell them where you were and I was so happy you were okay. I managed to convince them to let me come with them because I needed to see you again and say I was sorry. Then…at the river…” Dick’s eyes start to water.

Wally fully stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Dick. “Cop’s ‘n Barry told me you jumped in after me. You literally saved my life.”

Any sense of embarrassment Dick had seemed to vanish and he hugged Wally back, tight. Dick buried his face in the redhead's shoulder, tears wetting the already damp, warm skin.

“W-Wally -fuck- I thought you were going to die. I thought I was going to lose you all over again and it would be all my fault. When I pulled you out…you…you,- _ fuck _ \- Wally, you weren’t breathing and you were cold as ice.” Dick broke into full-blown sobs and Wally moved them to sit on the bed.

They rocked back and forth as Dick let out the sobs, and Wally could feel his eyes getting wet too. He rubbed Dick’s back, trying to calm him so they could talk again.

As horrible as this was, and despite what Dick was feeling, Wally, felt a little guilty for being a little happy. Dick didn’t hate him, and Wally couldn’t hate Dick no matter how hard he tried. At least they could move forward from here.

Once Dick’s breathing even out he hugged him tighter. “I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry, Wally. I fucked up so bad and I get it if you don’t forgive me. I deserve it, but please know I regret everything I did and I’m  _ so sorry _ .”

Wally gently pulled Dick away from him, so he could look Dick in the eyes. “…Dick, I don’t hate you. I’m not mad and I’d already forgiven you a while ago, I swear. You are, and always will be, my best friend.”

Dick looked stunned, borderline catatonic, before his mouth split into a watery smile. He hugged Wally tightly again, “Thank you, thank you,  _ thank you _ . I’ll make all of this up to you, Wally. I promise!”

“Dude, you journeyed to the middle of nowhere and you saved my life from drowning, let’s just call it even and move forward.”

Dick laughed and pulls away, wiping his eyes. “Whatever you say, dude. I honestly think I need to, like, buy you breakfast, lunch, and dinner for the rest of my life to make up for this.”

Wally grinned and flopped back on the bed. “Is that your roundabout way of asking me out or is that a marriage proposal, Grayson?”

It was a lighthearted joke, but Dick got beat red and the bashfulness was back. “S-shut up.”

Dick hesitated for a moment before flopping back to join the other.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“That blush doesn’t seem like nothing.”

Dick didn’t say anything for a moment, before slowly looking over at Wally. He swallowed, then sat up, leaning over Wally, looming over him, his hands on either side of Wally’s head. The two of them were looking dead into the other’s eyes. Wally’s heart started to pound in his chest and his cheeks to flush. “…If you want me to stop…just say so, and I will.”

Wally slowly nodded.

Dick settled down to his forearms, not once breaking eye contact. “…there was a reason I wanted to tell you I was bi, Wally, before I told anyone else. There was a reason why I got so angry when I thought you’d told everyone, and why I was so devastated when I thought you were gone for good.”

“…yeah?”

“…You’ve always been my closest friend Wally. Ever since middle school. I know recently I’ve done a shitty job of keeping it up on my end, and I’m going to make it up to you, no matter what, I promise. But … lately, I started feeling… things. Or I just realized that stuff I was feeling wasn’t…well, the normal way you feel about your best friend.”

Wally gulped, his body heating up and something fluttering in his chest.

Dick leaned in closer and Wally’s head started to spin. He felt like this couldn’t be real. Dick’s eyes looked deep into his, Wally could assume trying to see if he’d push him away. Wally didn’t move. Then the dark-haired boy’s eyes fell closed and their lips met. Warmth spread throughout Wally’s body and he wrapped his arms around Dick’s neck, pulling him close.

Everything else faded away, at least for this brief moment. Wally didn’t think about his dad’s death, or the people whispering at school. He didn’t think about the barn or the weeks of isolation he spent at school or the therapy he had been going to. He didn’t think about any of that, not right now. Right now he felt warm and safe, with Dick wrapping his arms around him gently. His core no longer feels hollow and cold like a wind-whipped ice cave, but warm like a lit hearth on a winter night, keeping the cold at bay.

Wally didn’t think anything of it when Dick crawled on top of him fully, nor when his fingers started to lace into his hair.

But what did bring his thoughts to a screeching halt was his door opening and the voice of his Uncle going, “Wally what’s going on in- Oh my-!”

The two boys broke apart, looking at Barry with identical looks of shame and horror. The three stared at each other, seemingly waiting for the other to start.

However, before either teen could stammer out an explanation, Barry just sighed and gestured to the clock. “It’s late you two. You should get to bed. Dick, you’re welcome to stay the night, but I better not get a worried phone call from Bruce in the morning…again. We’re having pancakes for breakfast tomorrow and I’d rather us not be interrupted, because we  _ clearly _ have a lot to talk about.”

Both nodded, understanding as they shifted away from each other a little.

Barry turned to head back from whence he came when he paused.

“Door stays open.”

And with that, he left down the hall.

Wally and Dick awkwardly looked at the floor, both their cheeks flushed.

“…So….um, do you want me to get some extra sweats or…”

“No, no, I’ve got it. Do-uh-…Do you want me to sleep on the floor?”

“…just…just climb into bed. I don’t think we have much to hide at this point.”

Wally pulled back the sheets while Dick stripped to his boxers and climbed in with him, Wally’s back to Dick’s chest.

It felt odd, nothing about how all this went down felt traditional. But it felt…right. It was new, to be sure, but it was comfortable, natural. Thoughts went through Wally’s mind about how much he and Dick had to fix, how much needed to be mended, and rebuilt, but it was something manageable. They could work with this.

And when Dick’s arm hesitantly wrapped around his waist, Wally covered it with his, certain that they’d figure it out, or at least they’d try.

“Goodnight, Wally. See you in the morning.”

“Night Dick. See you in my dreams.”

“You see me in your dreams?”

“I do, ask my therapist.”

“You want me to come with you to your therapy?”

“If you want to come, sure.”

Dick nuzzled his nose into Wally’s neck. “Alright. Tell me when the next one is. I’ll come.”

Wally smiled as he started to drift, his elation and exhaustion calling him off to dreamland. Things weren’t perfect, he knew that but they were set up to get better, and that was enough for him to get the most peaceful night of sleep he’d had in weeks. 


End file.
